Parenting Skills

∴ The main methods of discipline What is discipline? Discipline is never synonymous with punishment. The word "discipline" in fact means teaching or upbringing, and it includes a set of positive and negative methods. When you discipline your children, you teach them how to behave. You create behavioral models for them so that you see what you expect of them. Raising a child is not a one-day task, and discipline is not achieved through a single instance of teaching.

By learning the following principles, you can have a more effective method of discipline: 1/ How to reinforce. 2/ How to ignore. 3/ How to reward. 4/ How to punish. 5/ How to use the method of deprivation.

∴ Reinforcing a child's good behaviors It is easy for parents to pay attention only to their children's incorrect behaviors and to disregard their correct deeds. It rarely happens that we praise a child for sharing their toys very kindly. But it is easy to point out children's mistakes. Some parents are worried about their children becoming dependent on praise. In the case of a child who receives very little attention from their parents, or who has always been the center of their attention, an incorrect kind of praise can lead to such a problem; but it should be noted that "praise in due measure" can work wonders.

∴ To use praise, keep the following conditions in mind: a/ Praise the child's behavior, not their character. When parents come for help with the problems they have in dealing with their child's behavior, they are often so frustrated that they do not even have a positive point to mention. They describe the child's character with words such as stubborn, lazy, selfish, etc. Changing character is more difficult than changing behavior. Do not tell the child "what a good girl"; instead, you can say "I liked the way you spoke with your friend." Saying "good boy" or "good girl" cannot convey a specific feeling to the child unless the child can connect it to their own behaviors. The most effective way to teach good behavior is to shape behavior with praise. This method of discipline must be used continuously to show your satisfaction with your child's new behaviors.

b/ Use specific praise. The goal of praise is to increase worthy behaviors. So you must emphasize the specific behaviors that you approve of. When a child does a behavior you approve of, state precisely, "Well done, son—I really liked that you made your bed today." You can keep a daily note of your child's undesirable behaviors and review the behaviors together at the end of the night.

c/ Praise every bit of progress. If you have told your young child that they must tidy up their toys after playing, but they previously never did this, praise even their small progress. For example, after they put away one toy, say: "What a good job you did putting your truck in the cabinet. Let me help you gather the rest."

d/ Praise appropriately and fittingly. To get a better response, match the type of praise to the child's age and temperament. For example, hugging, kissing, etc. along with affectionate words are more effective for young children. But for older children, it is better to use a secret signal. For example, with a wink or a hand gesture, show that you have noticed their good deed.

e/ Praise immediately. This should be observed especially in the case of young children. Usually, the time interval between the child's action and the reaction can be filled with a small reference to the matter, although older children are able to comprehend this time interval.

f/ Blend praise with unconditional affection. In cases where a child receives their parents' attention only when being praised, they gradually come to feel a need for it and may behave well only when they are being noticed and encouraged. To solve this problem, it is better, after a new behavior has settled in, to gradually reduce the amount of praise and do it occasionally. At the same time, show the child that even when you are not evaluating their behavior you value them, and that you love them without any conditions and they need not worry about earning your affection, because you love them in any case.

Caring father and mother, you must be steadfast and serious for your methods of discipline to be effective. There are many things to teach your child that require time and patience. Moreover, your child is not always ready to learn a lesson, so deal with unexpected events and unsuccessful attempts more calmly and effectively.